- Hard Fall Page 13
That plan sounded so reasonable. "What-luck?" I asked, more to just give me time to think it all through.
"Yeah, as in what luck, there's food in the fridge. Takes a special type of cook to look at half a cup of Bisquick, two eggs, bacon bits, wilted spinach and powdered milk to come up with dinner."
I took the turn toward Panguitch, a few miles down and I'd be at ground zero. We either turned or went straight. One 146
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option headed us to the ranch ... the other my bed. "What the heck do you make with that?" Filling the space with words just so I didn't have to really consider what I was about to do.
I already knew, somewhere down deep, that I'd cave in to him. Wasn't ready to admit it, but I knew it.
"Quiche."
"Real men don't eat quiche." I kept my fingers on the wheel, my eyes on the road. I couldn't handle more.
"Don't knock it till you've tried it. Or call it cheesy eggs with veggies and biscuits, if you've got issues." Kabe's hand stretched across the spine of the bench to brush the nape of my neck. "But like my Grams always said, if you didn't cook it, say 'thanks,' eat it and offer to wash dishes after."
A normal, teasing conversation ... I could handle that. "My chili was that awful?" Kept me away from dangerous subjects, like how bad I was falling.
"No, it was good." Kabe sounded like he meant it. "Really, I wouldn't lie to a guy with a gun."
"I'm not armed." Well, my rifle was racked behind us, didn't really consider that armed though.
"No, but you got one hell of a gun and you handle it good."
Kabe leaned across the cab and whispered just loud enough for me to hear it over the whine of the engine and the road.
"Like to play with your pistol a bit more."
Step off the cliff from friendly teasing to sexual innuendo.
The boy switched gears faster than anyone I knew. "That's way corny."
"Okay, I'll be direct." He scooted closer, right up against my side, his leg against mine and his arm on my shoulder. "I 147
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like you." Those soft words tickled down my spine and set everything jangling. "I like how you fuck. I want more with you ... round three."
I lied. "I don't know." I wanted him as bad, if not more.
Couldn't handle saying it yet.
"Didn't like it?"
"Liked it just fine." I could barely work up enough spit to talk. "But, ah, never done anything this close to home. You really need to understand that, okay." The turnoff flashed by in the dark. I was going to take him home with me. And I was shaking in my boots at the prospect. "Wasn't just screwing with you out on the face when I told you not to mess with me in front of no one. Out, away from everyone, we can tease.
But, this is me, I'm Mormon in my heart and a deputy in a tiny little county."
"You're afraid."
"That's putting it lightly."
"I won't say anything, Joe." Kabe's hand settled on my knee and darn near stole my breath away. "Not to anyone."
His words eased me a little bit. "It's not much of nothing, my place." Still, I was as nervous as a horse at the gate, talking to hear words come out. "Prefab cabin thing, you know, vacation home I bought off a woman whose husband died. Not much for real living..."
His hand along my thigh, tracking the seam on my jeans—
the inside, not outside one, right near my prick—and sitting right next to me, Kabe's voice was gentle. "Joe, keep driving, you don't have to sell me. I'm already here."
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He was there. All close and all for me. "Okay." I kinda turned as I said it, just enough to look some without losing sight of the road. He smiled and rested his head on the seat back near my shoulder. Enough to be close, but not enough to get popped by my elbow if I had to shift. Ten, twenty miles went under the tires before I realized he'd fallen asleep. Good to his word.
I'd just bet my whole life on his staying true to that.
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Chapter Nine
Kabe climbed out of the truck and whistled as he caught sight of my house. "I assumed you were talking about a shack of some sort. You know, one of those square boxes with cheap siding." Even in the dark, you could see it right well. Especially up here, with the moon so big and the stars.
"That looks like a fancy ski lodge."
I guess it did. I knew it was panel construction; real wood, mind you ... half cut logs and rough timber gave it the feel of a log cabin. Like model kits, builders could throw one up in a couple months. "It's the A-frame." I headed up onto the porch. "You either build a pitch into the roof or you shovel snow off your roof come winter." Flipped on the light as I walked in. I could hear Kabe's steps behind me. "Five cent tour of my cabin." I turned and smiled as he shut the door behind him. Thrift store couch, my old recliner and a coffee table I'd made from deer antlers didn't actually say much for my taste. "You're in the living room. That there's the kitchen,"
I pointed into the open space with range and all. "Stairs on the left take you to the loft. Only bath's down here, under the stairs. Little mud room off the back with a washer-dryer. Hard as heck to heat in the winter with the high ceiling and metal roof."
"It's nice though." Kabe wandered back past the stair and into the kitchen.
"I'm going to grab a shower." I followed him the few steps in and pushed open the door to the can. "If you want to grab 150
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some grub, well, there's the fridge. TV's on that wall," I pointed to the corner up front, "can't miss it. I got satellite, none of the fancy channels though."
Kabe turned. He rested his butt against my rickety old table and managed to not fall when it shifted. "Not all that hungry." He leered. "Could use a shower."
I move away from the door a bit. "Okay, go ahead."
Jerking my head to give him the go ahead, I added, "I'll wait."
"Why wait?" I didn't even see him move it was so quick.
One second he's trying to destroy my furniture, the next his body's right up against mine. "Looks big enough if we get close." Boy wasn't even looking in the bathroom.
"Together?" I swallowed.
"Yeah, together." Kabe tugged on my belt loops, dragging me in. "Come on."
I was having a lot of firsts with this boy. "Okay." It was amazing sometimes how much I knew and how little I really had experienced.
"You know," Kabe tugged his shirt off and tossed it on the floor. "The whole innocent thing is kinda cute."
Shirt halfway up my middle, I stopped. "I'm nothing like cute." My glare told him I'd hurt him if he kept it up. "Me and cute don't add up."
Kabe's shoes hit the pile, one after another. "That whole shy thing ... at least until you get your clothes off." Grinning, he shimmied out of his pants and drawers. Lord Almighty.
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spinning and my blood raging. His prick stood at attention, swinging slightly left. The head was all red and swollen.
He leaned over the edge of the tub and turned on the water. The tankless heater kicked in and steam rose almost as soon as the spray started. Kabe stepped in, ducked his head under the water and ran his hands through his hair. It beaded up on his skin and ran like rivers along the lines of his hard body. I hadn't seen anything that hot in years.
"Well," he blew out a bit of water, "you going to just watch or planning on getting in?"
That did it. "Be right there." I shucked my clothes, trying not to get tangled in shirts, undershirts, pants and shorts then hustled in next to him. The water hit my skin and raised goosebumps, or maybe that was from being so near to someone like him. He found the sliver
of soap in the dish and started lathering up my chest. I never knew something so simple could feel so good. His hands wandered all over my body.
I memorized the lines of his body though my palms. Every ridge of bone, every cut of muscle burned itself into my memory through the tips of my fingers. I knew I'd never, ever forget Kabe. The Saints could all fall, burn out like fireballs, and I'd feel his touch over a thousand miles.
Kabe came close, kissed me. He stole my breath. Soap slicked our skin. My prick rubbed his and worked sparks into my balls. I humped him like some horny teenager trying to get as much skin as possible before someone said no. Guess that was close.
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"Fucking damn, Joe." Kabe rolled his head back and bared his throat. I licked the water off his skin. "You always this desperate?"
"Live out here," I managed to pant between kisses, "for a few years, then ask me that."
He pushed me away and licked his lips. "I want it."
"Turn around." I couldn't stop touching him. "You can have it."
Slow and sexy, he ran his hand through his wet hair and arched his spine. Lord, if I wasn't done for already, that killed me. With a smile that was part lust, part desperation and all mine, Kabe turned around and set his hands on the wall.
Warm water plastered Kabe's hair to his skull. I pushed him up against the molded plastic confines of the shower, my mouth hard and hungry along the back of his neck. His cock felt so good in my grip as I wrapped my fingers around it.
Soap and water was the best I had right then. I sipped my prick between his thighs. Hard and soft all mixed together and burned my senses through. I pumped his dick like mad through my fist, my own prick sliding between his legs, feeling his sac conform around me.
I had him panting, "Fuck me, Joe," and trying to angle so I'd bump his hole. I'd have liked to be all inside him, but didn't want to stop what I had neither. Even as gone as I was, couldn't do that. And I was too gone to stop and go find something I wasn't sure I had around.
So I just rolled with it, that wonderful burn in my balls and my dick. Us rocking together, the water running over our bodies. I explored the plane of his back by feel. Every part of 153
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Kabe held some secret. A feather of muscle earned while spanning crevices. A scar of maybe a rope burning fast across skin. All of it, Kabe's past etched in his body. I wanted to know it. Understand it.
I hit first, spewing spunk between his legs, over his balls and across my hand. The shudders wouldn't quite let me be as I turned Kabe around to drop down on my knees. He tasted like soap instead of guy for all of about a minute. I sucked hard, feeling him in my mouth, exploring the flare of his head with my tongue. Then there he was: musky, sweet and bitter all at once.
Kabe shuddered, his fingers digging into my shoulders as I swallowed. Weren't real smart of me and I didn't right care. I pulled myself up using his body, then kissed him deep. We shared that taste, passing his spunk back and forth with our tongues until the heater started to falter. Toweling off just gave me another excuse to feel him up. Not that I think Kabe minded much. His hands were on me as much as mine were on him.
"Come on upstairs." I used the towel, corners in my fists and the rest slung behind Kabe's ass to pull him along. "I got some PJs or something you can wear."
"How about we just stay naked under the covers?" He smirked, letting me lead him.
I walked us around and up the stairs. "It's gonna get chilly." I reminded him as we hit the loft. My bed weren't nothing special, a wood frame and some quilts my mom gave me. Bought most of the furniture off the same gal who sold 154
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me the house. So it was old, but big enough for two to be comfortable.
"Then throw an extra blanket on." Kabe jumped away from me and threw himself, backwards, onto the mattress, arms flopped and all spread eagled with everything out on display.
If I hadn't just got off, his butt would have been mine.
Instead I flipped back the covers. "Get your butt under there before you freeze it off." I scolded. He shifted and I crawled in next to him. I fumbled above my head, found the main switch and flipped off the lights. Dark settled over us.
Kabe settled into my body. I'd never been between my own sheets in my own house with anyone else. I never imagined it could feel quite that right. Like it'd been this way forever.
Right scared the sin outta me.
Think I drifted for a while, in bed, plumb forgot about food.
Still, after a bit, my body got me up. I shrugged into my jeans and headed downstairs, tugging on my old sweatshirt, to take care of business. Didn't much feel like sleeping right then anyway. Too much restlessness in my body and mind. I needed to think. So after I shook the weasel out, I headed to where I usually went to do profound thinking.
Stamping into a pair of old boots I kept near the back door, I grabbed my old denim coat and then stepped out as quiet as I could manage. The vacant glass eye of the bedroom window was up and to my left. I didn't want to wake Kabe so I moved quiet. Part of being a mountain jockey, I can find a hold just about anywhere. This pitch I knew like my own skin. Hand on the door beam, foot on the windowsill, haul up and grab the eaves. A good swing and I was sitting 155
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on the low-pitched roof of the mud room, below my bedroom window. I looked up at the heavens and tried to think. Best place for it. Slept up there sometimes, when it got real warm.
I'm a creature of strange habits—my mom'll tell you that.
I lay back on the porch roof, staring at the stars, and pillowed my head on my arms. All those bright white bits, so near I could almost touch 'em. Corny, I know, but I do it sometimes just to think. Lotta thinking can get done up there.
It ain't nothing but you and the heavens and they're so big and so bright that you realize just how little some things matter. And then sometimes, you realize how much little things matter.
That's what I was kinda thinking on. What kept my mind so wrapped up it wouldn't let me sleep.
'Cause in my bed, wrapped up in my sheets, was a guy. A guy I could still smell on me. Musk and wind and mountains clung to his skin. Lock him in a closet for six months, I'd bet Kabe'd still smell like a wild free-solo climb. And I was thinking that I should go roust that guy and bring him out to see the stars. Before I put that plan into motion, I had to get over the big hump of there's a guy in my bed. There ain't never been a guy in my bed—at least not one under my roof, in my house. And yet, it just felt so darned right. Like things had always been this way. The little things, that's what did it.
Not five minutes ago, I'd said, "I need to take a walk, get some air," in a mumble as I pulled away, not really wanting to get out of that bed and added, "I need to go shake it out."
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"Okay." As I got up, he grabbed my hand. Not to make me stay or nothing. Naw, he just gave me a kiss on the inside of my forearm and yawned. "I'll be here."
Now what was I supposed to do about that? I was taking a screamer down life's wall and admiring the scenery along the way. Oh Lord, why did you put this boy in my path?
As I was trying to wrap my head around the problem, I heard him moving in my room. The window, the creaky old mechanism, protested as he must have forced the sash shade up. Wondered if I should say anything to let him know I was up here? Then I wondered what I could say. Hanging out on the rooftop, it just smacked of strange. How would I explain it? In the end, I held my tongue, hoping he wanted air and would crawl back under the covers in a moment.
Kabe fumbled with something, couldn't make out exact by just sound. When he spoke, I figured he must have been messing with his phone. "Hey, Grams."
Either that or he done gone plumb loco. Somehow, I think the call was more likely.
"Doing okay. Yeah, keeping my nose clean." Now I regretted not speaking up immediately. I didn't want to be sneaky, listen in on something I wasn't meant to hear.
"No," Kabe gave a quiet chuckle, "I'm not at the ranch, I'm staying at a friend's place." There was a long pause there ... a real long, to the point of uncomfortable, pause. Wondered what his Grams grilled him on. "Well, he's a nice guy, little bit of a control freak." Me, a control freak, naw ... well, not big time, just liked to get my way most times. "No, not that way, he's a deputy out here." Now Kabe laughed good and hard.
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friends." More silence after the laughter died. His voice went all soft. "Ahh, yeah, it's that kind of friendship too, but look, you can't tell T or Aunt Sandy or anything, okay..." Heck, yeah, it was that kinda friendship and then some.
"I really like him. He's nice to me. Not like trying to get in my pants nice, either. I mean, he treats me like a real person, not some stupid piece of meat." I rolled my head back, just a bit, and caught his shadow at the window. One lean, strong arm dangled out, his head kinda resting on it.
And, by the angle, he was staring up and out ... looking at the stars like me. My heart hit my chest so hard it hurt. "Joe just takes charge, tells you what you should do, and expects you'll get it done. And he doesn't put up with any of my shit, I can't get away with anything around him. It's kinda nice being around someone who gives a crap enough to say 'sit down and shut up.' Everyone else was just, 'let's watch Kabe be a jerk.' Joe's not like that."
My momma always said bossy was good for a deputy and bad for everything else. But Kabe talked like he liked it. I'd been rough with him. Messed with his head on the wall and then tied him up in my truck. Here he was though, telling his grandma I was something special.
"Oh, damn, is he good looking." I guessed that was in response to some question. "You'd drool over him. Hell, Dad would drool over him ... he's that good looking." Boy must have been eating something strange, 'cause I wasn't all that.